A fork in the road of my journey to health
I’m afraid I won’t be sharing a recipe with you guys today. Well, not on here anyway, and not the kind of recipes you’ve come accustomed to expect from me… If one of my new culinary creations is what you’re after, you’ll have to head on over to my new indulgent blog. Be warned, though. You might be in for a little surprise!
Let me explain…
First off, I guess it’ll come as no surprise to most of you if I say that paleo and I have officially filed for divorce… We had a couple of great years together, but lately, we just weren’t really happy anymore. Time had come for me to move on, and I think that’s quite alright. People change, you know, and I most certainly am no exception to that rule!
What may come as a real shocker to most of you, though, is what I am about to say next.
Remember how I’ve been saying that I didn’t really feel inspired in the kitchen lately and couldn’t seem to come up with any decent recipes? Well, truth is I WAS inspired, only I was inspired to make all the “wrong” kinds of things. For months, I fought the urge with all my might. But eventually, it became obvious to me that the cravings were NOT going to go away, so I would have to find a way to deal with them. Perhaps I didn’t have to eat clean 100% of the time? Perhaps I could afford to, and probably even SHOULD, splurge once in a while.
After all, it’s been 8 full years since I last had a cigarette, or even felt like having one, for that matter. My heavy drinking is definitely a thing of the past, I will now only have a drink or two on occasion. I have successfully gotten my weight down to a healthy level and have been maintaining it there for over 5 years. Last but not least, I got into the habit of working out every day, and have NO intention of quitting. As much as I have to kick myself in the butt sometimes, I still greatly need and appreciate my daily exercise.
However, I’ve now finally come to peace with the fact that I will never have the body of a photoshopped 20 year old athlete, and now realize that the road to getting a “competition body” is pretty extreme and everything BUT healthy. As such, I’ve stopped obsessing over body image: there’s a LOT more to health than just that! Mental health and happiness are just as important, I think, and food to me has always been a colossal source of pleasure. Unfortunately, I’ve always had a penchant for that of the indulgent kind, and while I can’t say that eating healthy all the time made me totally miserable, I must admit that constantly denying myself the right to splurge and indulge in my favorite treats was definitely making me unhappy at times.
And keeping the baker in me at bay had become increasingly difficult. The very baker that DEMANDED to work with “the real thing”, you know, like flour and butter, and SUGAH!!! All the very things that I was fighting so hard to stay away from.
So anyway, I eventually decided that I would give a little bit of “air time” to the one I like to refer to as My Evil Twin. After much discussions, we agreed that I was to let her have full reign of my kitchen once or twice a week, and that she would get to log and share her recipes, too, but that she would have to do that on her very own site: My Evil Twin’s Kitchen. The rest of the time, the kitchen would still be MINE MINE MINE and I fully intend to keep things clean in there. And to keep posting MY healthy recipes here, of course!
Then came the matter of whether or not I would let you guys know of her existence. At first, I wasn’t quite sure that I wanted to be “seen” with her, you know. I guess I was a little bit ashamed of my alter ego. But I thought long and hard about it, and, while I realize that this new “association” will come as a major disappointment to some of you and may even cause you to stop following me, for me to hide her existence would’ve been totally disloyal, like some form of treason. So I decided to come clean and let you see both sides of my personality. After all, this place has always been a reflection of who I am, of my trials and errors and my efforts to find my healthy balance. I’m still looking that inner balance and apparently, I haven’t found it yet.
Perhaps I never will…
But in the meantime, I will continue posting delicious what-I-consider-healthy recipes on this site and will let my alter ego shamelessly share our treat meals and other culinary devilries on My Evil Twin’s Kitchen.
I’m truly hoping that most of you will understand exactly where I’m coming and will continue to follow me here, and perhaps even choose to follow my indulgent alter ego, too…
Because after all, I think we all need to splurge a little, from time to time…