A fork in the road of my journey to health
I’m afraid I won’t be sharing a recipe with you guys today. Well, not on here anyway, and not the kind of recipes you’ve come accustomed to expect from me… If one of my new culinary creations is what you’re after, you’ll have to head on over to my new indulgent blog. Be warned, though. You might be in for a little surprise!
Let me explain…
First off, I guess it’ll come as no surprise to most of you if I say that paleo and I have officially filed for divorce… We had a couple of great years together, but lately, we just weren’t really happy anymore. Time had come for me to move on, and I think that’s quite alright. People change, you know, and I most certainly am no exception to that rule!
What may come as a real shocker to most of you, though, is what I am about to say next.
Remember how I’ve been saying that I didn’t really feel inspired in the kitchen lately and couldn’t seem to come up with any decent recipes? Well, truth is I WAS inspired, only I was inspired to make all the “wrong” kinds of things. For months, I fought the urge with all my might. But eventually, it became obvious to me that the cravings were NOT going to go away, so I would have to find a way to deal with them. Perhaps I didn’t have to eat clean 100% of the time? Perhaps I could afford to, and probably even SHOULD, splurge once in a while.
After all, it’s been 8 full years since I last had a cigarette, or even felt like having one, for that matter. My heavy drinking is definitely a thing of the past, I will now only have a drink or two on occasion. I have successfully gotten my weight down to a healthy level and have been maintaining it there for over 5 years. Last but not least, I got into the habit of working out every day, and have NO intention of quitting. As much as I have to kick myself in the butt sometimes, I still greatly need and appreciate my daily exercise.
However, I’ve now finally come to peace with the fact that I will never have the body of a photoshopped 20 year old athlete, and now realize that the road to getting a “competition body” is pretty extreme and everything BUT healthy. As such, I’ve stopped obsessing over body image: there’s a LOT more to health than just that! Mental health and happiness are just as important, I think, and food to me has always been a colossal source of pleasure. Unfortunately, I’ve always had a penchant for that of the indulgent kind, and while I can’t say that eating healthy all the time made me totally miserable, I must admit that constantly denying myself the right to splurge and indulge in my favorite treats was definitely making me unhappy at times.
And keeping the baker in me at bay had become increasingly difficult. The very baker that DEMANDED to work with “the real thing”, you know, like flour and butter, and SUGAH!!! All the very things that I was fighting so hard to stay away from.
So anyway, I eventually decided that I would give a little bit of “air time” to the one I like to refer to as My Evil Twin. After much discussions, we agreed that I was to let her have full reign of my kitchen once or twice a week, and that she would get to log and share her recipes, too, but that she would have to do that on her very own site: My Evil Twin’s Kitchen. The rest of the time, the kitchen would still be MINE MINE MINE and I fully intend to keep things clean in there. And to keep posting MY healthy recipes here, of course!
Then came the matter of whether or not I would let you guys know of her existence. At first, I wasn’t quite sure that I wanted to be “seen” with her, you know. I guess I was a little bit ashamed of my alter ego. But I thought long and hard about it, and, while I realize that this new “association” will come as a major disappointment to some of you and may even cause you to stop following me, for me to hide her existence would’ve been totally disloyal, like some form of treason. So I decided to come clean and let you see both sides of my personality. After all, this place has always been a reflection of who I am, of my trials and errors and my efforts to find my healthy balance. I’m still looking that inner balance and apparently, I haven’t found it yet.
Perhaps I never will…
But in the meantime, I will continue posting delicious what-I-consider-healthy recipes on this site and will let my alter ego shamelessly share our treat meals and other culinary devilries on My Evil Twin’s Kitchen.
I’m truly hoping that most of you will understand exactly where I’m coming and will continue to follow me here, and perhaps even choose to follow my indulgent alter ego, too…
Because after all, I think we all need to splurge a little, from time to time…
46 Comments on “A fork in the road of my journey to health”
I will still read 🙂 I am separated from paleo, enjoying moderate carbs and feeling like me again. Just taking things one day at a time. Can’t wait to check out the new blog!
Thank you Kiara. I think I’m in that exact same place now, I take things one day at a time, one step at time and check out where that new path is leading me… for now, I say the scenery sure is beautiful!
Hope you like what my Evil Twin has in store!
I still like Paleo but I’m not a fanatic and I lean more to Primal eating and probably only manage about a 70%/30%.
Regardless I will check out your new site. I can’t seem to eat baked goods as much as I get older. I seem to get migraines from too much flour and sugar but oh do I love them! I really just wanted to comment on how beautiful your evil twin’s creations are! I’m sure they taste fantastic too! Good luck in your new endeavors!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Denise. Hopefully my Evil Twin will be whipping up a few things that you’ll be able to try. 🙂
Hey Sonia!! I think it’s great that you have decided to share your struggle with being paleo. We always need to be true to ourselves and others. You have been my “go to” person since I became paleo a year and a half ago, and your recipes are (and will remain) thoroughly enjoyed in my home. While becoming paleo has been a great thing for me (and even at that, I would say I am only about 80% paleo), I can understand that it is not for everyone. I wish you all the very best on your new “journey”, and I will absolutely continue to follow you! Thank you for being a supporter to me when I needed one!
No, thank YOU Karen for being a supporter when I so badly need one! You are a real gem. And fear not, I will continue posting recipes that are paleo friendly on a fairly regular basis, so hopefully I will continue to be a source of inspiration for you. 🙂
You know, it’s kinda funny. I found paleo a couple years ago and was only really strict with it for 8 months. Fell of the wagon totally and felt icky then found a balance of about 80/20. As I found that balance so have so many of the paleo blogs I read. More and more of them are becoming paleoish and adding in some not so paleo foods.
I found the hardest part of following paleo was going out with friends. You don’t get invited out as much if your always saying what you can’t eat.
I too love quality food, cooking, baking and I decided, for me, that having a real dessert or some pizza once and awhile is ok.
Good luck with your evil twin! Can’t wait to see what she comes up with 🙂
I totally hear you, April. I too found it hard sometimes and felt like I didn’t belong, like I wasn’t normal… I think one does need to find their inner balance, what works for them. More importantly, I think that what works today might not work tomorrow, and we have to give ourselves the right to change our minds.
Thank you for your kind words, I hope that my Evil Twin will inspire you to whip up something “good” from time to time. Don’t let her do that too often, though. She IS Evil after all, you know! 😉
Hi Sonia. You deserve an Oscar for honesty and trying. Finally somebody is honest in this crazy dieting world! Thank you so much. Love your healthy recipes but looking forward to meet your twin ??
Thank you Alex. That is super kind of you to say. I’m all for honesty, always have been. In fact, I think honesty is my middle name! Thank you for awarding me that Oscar!
My Evil Twin looks equally forward to meeting you! 🙂
With your pastry background I’m surprised you held out this long! Congrats on the new site. All the recipes and photos look amazing as usual!!!
Thanks so much, Mellissa. As usual, your compliments mean such a great deal to me. Also, I thought maybe you’d like to know that my stumbling upon http://thewoodfiredenthusiast.com/ played a big, positive role in my decision making process. 😀
Well hopefully you’ll have better success trying to manage two sites than we did! Though our unexpected move to NY and away from the pizza oven did play a role in our not growing it as we’d expected – still have plans to do something with it though, just haven’t had time to really work on it like we planned!
I am 80/20…80 percent healthy and 20 percent wine and cookies! Your food is so beautiful, I can’t wait to check out your new blog and what a clever name! Life is to be enjoyed (in moderation:). Enjoy yourself!
Awww, thanks Kathi! Glad you like the name. Hope you like the site just as much! 😀
Wow! I bet you are surprised at all the love you are getting. Maybe your next cookbook should be called 80/20 🙂 I went that way a few months ago and while I still mostly avoid grains occasionally I will indulge. (it was a bitch giving up pizza)
I am really so happy that you have made a decision about what to do. I will always be a fan although I stick to pretty simple but delicious recipes. Your dessert recipes may simply be too complex and time consuming, although I am sure they are amazing, for me to undertake them.
At any rate Sonia, I am pleased, relieved and optimistic that you have come to a decision, I know it was a real struggle for you. And if there are any haters, please just blow them off in your mind and heart.
There is a huge aspect of being social and enjoying life that suffers when you are too strict with any eating plan. I actually did a post about it. So, exhale, or maybe you already have and enjoy life with your evil twin. BTW what a fabulous name!! 😀
Surprised? I am over the moon. I expected the total opposite. So far, not even one hater to blow off.
And I’m real happy and relieved to see that you feel this way about my new “arrangements”. Thank you for your ongoing support, Beth, you are a true star.
Glad to hear you love the name I chose, too! 🙂
I couldn’t agree with you and the other commenters more. For those of us that love to eat it’s hard to be strictly paleo. You have to live life and find the balance of eating healthy but still being happy. I gave up eating processed garbage and cook mainly from scratch which has made a huge difference. I have definitely improved my diet overall. I don’t miss pasta but bread is another story. I commend you for being honest with your self and your readers. Your food and photos are a work of art and I will definitely continue to follow you!
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Ann. I greatly appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts. It’s reassuring to see that so many people are in total agreement with my decision. I was expecting tomatoes and I’m getting nothing but flowers. So thank you!
And a work of art, really? Whoa. I am seriously flushed! 🙂
I’m 100% going to follow My Evil Twin’s Kitchen… even if I don’t get to make a lot of the recipes, you’re so creative and your photography is inspiring 🙂
Wish you the best!
Awww, thank you so much Jessica, you are too kind! I take that as a HUGE compliment! 🙂
Hi Sonia and congratulations! I 100% support you and will follow both blogs. You have such TALENT and are obviously so creative. It would be a shame to feel you have to hold back on sharing and expressing yourself. Can’t wait to see what you’ve (or should I say your twin..what’s her name by the way?) got for us!
Wow, how very kind of you to say, Dana, thank you so very much! You are such a gem!
You know what, I haven’t really given that name thing much thought, but maybe I oughta giver her a name, kind of like Jekyll and Hyde… Got any suggestions?
You know you can’t get rid of me that easily 😉 I’ve been here from the beginning and I’m not going anywhere. And I am so on board with your evil twins plan!! You have such an incredible talent and if this is what fuels your fire then I say you go girl. I could tell that you were just losing that creative spark for this, which saddened me because I have always been able to feel your joy through your posts and recipes. I can’t wait to see where this new endeavor takes you and I will be anxiously awaiting all these new recipes!! <3 #teameviltwin
#teameviltwin HAHAHA! I LOVE IT!!!
And I love YOU Jordan Leigh (still in a totally non-lesbian kind of way…) I can’t even find the words to express just how good it made me feel to read your comment. You are the kindest, sincerest, nicest, most caring and beautiful person alive. Thank you for lifting me up and supporting me always. You’re beyond awesome! 🙂
“Mental health and happiness are just as important”… so true! Thank you for sharing your new blog – will definitely keep up with both. I hope all is well 😀
Awww, thank you Jeff! Glad to hear you don’t think of me as a fraud! 😉
Hope all is well with you too as well.
That’s brilliant news. I look forward to your indulgent treats as I too need them occasionally and I am equally happy that you are keeping this site. I would be so disappointed if I lost one of my favourite go to sites for healthy eating. Thanks for sharing and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for. Life is about balance and as long as a paleo or primal eating style is a good portion of that balance, all will be good! And now I must go check out your evil (brilliant) twin…
Thank you for your kind words, Sherry. Fear not, I’m not about to stop whipping up healthy stuff, although I will probably veer a little bit away from strict paleo. Chick peas, for instance, have been calling my name SO LOUD lately, I don’t think I’ll be able to resist much longer. But for sure, I’ll keep coming up with true paleo meals, too!
Hope you like what my Evil Twin has to offer. (Thanks for calling her brilliant, by the way. She’s flattered!) 🙂
Good on ya Girl! Like Oscar said. Everything in moderation. Even Moderation.
*HIGH FIVE* 🙂
Follow your heart!
Thank you Sarah! <3
Sticking with you Sonia!!! I believe our bodies tell us what we need if we’re listening, so I trust you’re on the right path for you at this time. xoxo!!
Thank you Donna! I hope you’re right and that my evil twin won’t end up hijacking my kitchen and never let me back in! 😉
I’ve never been paleo anyway, I just liked your recipes!! So now following both.
Awesome! Thanks Meg! 🙂
Just read your ‘Evil Twin’ announcement. I love your blog and all the stories that go along with your recipes. I eat Paleo 90% of the time, but when I want a treat, like ice cream, I eat it! I get what you mean about body image, at 59 years old, I’m pretty tired of trying to achieve the perfect 20 year old body. You just do what you need to do for you and your family. I will still follow you and enjoy your recipes and I will definitely peak at your ‘Evil Twin’!!!!
Thanks for your support, Carol. And thanks for supporting my evil twin also. Just make sure you don’t visit her too often, or she may corrupt you and your score may very well drop to 80%… 😉
Sorry about my post, for some reason the wording got all messed up. I really am a great speller!
I was 100% Paleo for about 8 months and lost all my weight I was wanting to lose. But I was so groggy all of the time. I fell off the wagon and tried to get back on but was never quite as successful as the first time. I would get nauseous from eating all the paleo foods. I didn’t think I could stomach one more sweet potato. I was never a coconut fan either so it was getting to the point of it being torture. I did learn a lot from Paleo and still use a ton of those recipe tricks. My breakfasts are still pretty solid paleo. Because it’s so easy and such a healthy way to start the day!
So I am now 80/20 with a lot more exercise because I actually feel like getting out of bed. Being skinny wasn’t worth the fatigue from low, low carb.
I love your recipes and was secretly glad that you were adding white rice to some of your dishes. I was like YAY! I’m not the only one! Lol
First off, the name for your other site is SO clever. Love it.
I’m glad that so many of the leading paleo blogs are eschewing strict paleo. Paleo is awesome for teaching people about their individual sensitivities and reactions to foods. I think paleo and Whole30 also have been huge in bringing people back to basics and showing them that healthy foods can be incredibly delicious (as opposed to suffering through plain, unseasoned chicken breast and steamed broccoli for every meal). I’m absolutely not 100% paleo despite my blog name…and I’ve thought about rebranding just because I don’t want to give people the impression that I’m strict all the time.
There used to be a lot of negative talk in the community about people that “say they’re paleo but eat un-paleo foods”…I remember the days when a blogger would get nasty, negative comments on IG because they ate rice or white potatoes. But things have changed and I think those days have largely passed, because almost everyone has accepted that paleo is a template that can be adapted to fit an individual’s needs.
Anyway, long rant to say…you do you! No matter what you’re making, I know the recipes will be on point and the photography will be amazing. 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words, Chelsea! Glad to hear you love the name! And I so hear you about changing the name of your blog. When I went Paleo, I thought of rebranding THF to reflect my new reality, but then decided against it because I realized I would be trapped in a very rigid mold and it would be very hard to go back. Luckily, I’ve never been the target of Paleo purists, probably because I’ve never been one myself! I’m having a hard time enough as it is with the concept of “healthy” and people telling me that such and such recipe isn’t healthy because of such and such reason (too much salt, too much fat, too many carbs, contains meat, isn’t a bowl of ice, etc…) so yeah, like you said, I do me, and am super grateful for people like you who like me for me and accept me just the way I am! 🙂
OMG. I am so happy to see I am not the only one out there. I also went through a transformation in my 30s and have been a vegetarian, done gluten free, paleo etc. And i credit those restrictive diets for introducing me to a bevy of new foods, but I found that i missed what could come from butter, sugar and flour. I too get pleasure from creating in the kitchen. Today, I subscribe to the Michael Pollan approach: eat food, mostly plants. And just cook. So i cook the bad stuff and either freeze it or give it away.
I just found your blog/s and had to share some thoughts.
I’ve noticed over the years that when I was gung-ho about a ‘diet’ I could stick with it for months. But…it was a DIET, not a way of life. I always fell back in to my ‘old’ eating style…and gain the weight (or most of it) back.
I will never be thin/skinny/model sized…and I’m okay with that. I will NEVER again have an eating plan that eliminates bread, buttery/sugary treats. That just won’t work for me. BUT, I pretty much eat healthy/clean at least 80% of the time (or even more). I will NOT deprive myself if there’s a craving to eat…or bake.
That said, I applaud you for being honest. I’ve been divorced from many diets and will never reconcile! I just keep eating ‘real’ food I prepare at home. My splurging is in restaurants and if I feel like baking.
Moderation is my new buzz word.