I shouldn’t do this to you. Seriously, I feel bad.
This is just wrong.
Some things are better left alone, you know. This is probably one of them. For once you’ve had a taste of this nut butter, life as you know it will never be the same. You will be forever addicted and will probably blame me for it.
And damn me for it, too.
Don’t say I haven’t warned you, though. You can still walk away. Seriously. Just hit the back button, close this window, or click a link, any link. This one right here, why not?
No? You won’t leave? Are you SURE you wanna do this? Really, really, reeeeally sure?
Okay then. Let’s do this. But promise you won’t curse me when you try and inject this thing directly through your veins, alright?
Add your nuts to the bowl of your food processor. Now don’t go use jumbo macadamia nuts and whole cashews; pieces will work just fine here.
So in go your raw macadamia nuts and cashew pieces. Now flick that switch to the “on” position!
Contrary to all the other nut butters that we’ve made so far, you’ll see that this one happens FAST!
Indeed, the elevated oil content in macadamia nuts makes them turn into butter quickly and painlessly. A mere 30 seconds into the process, you should already be looking at a paste that looks pretty much like the one pictured above.
Let the blade spin for another minute or so, and you’ve already got what looks like a decent nut butter! But we want our butter to be really, really smooth and creamy for this project. So let’s just scrape the sides and start that motor again.
OH! Did you see that? Be still my heart!
Another 3 to 4 minutes will suffice to get your nut butter insanely smooth and creamy, just like this one.
Now time to add more deliciousness.
Throw in the vanilla seeds or extract, salt, ghee and maple syrup.
Then put that lid back on and flick that switch to on one more time. Let that blade spin just until everything is nicely combined, which again, really won’t take long. Oh, maybe 10-15 seconds. If that.
Remove the blade, delicately mix in the Fleur de Sel and transfer your now finished (but not yet ready to eat) nut butter to a glass jar.
Now the reason why you want to add the Fleur de Sel at the very end like this and delicately mix it in is because you don’t want to destroy the precious and delicate little clusters. You want them to remain whole so that when they hit your tongue, they deliver an instant and concentrated hit of salt directly to your taste buds.
This causes a very distinct and sharp contrast between the sweet and salty and I think that it somehow sends waves of pure ecstasy directly to your brain.
Crack, pure crack, I tell you!
Alright, so once your nut butter is finished (but not yet ready to eat) and jarred, place it WAY WAY FAR in the back of your pantry and DO NOT TOUCH IT for at least 24 hours.
Seriously. Resist the urge. That butter needs get back to room temperature to be at its best. The flavors will have a chance to mingle and fully develop and the texture will go from kinda liquid-y to smooth and creamy and luscious and marvelously intoxicating.
Trust. Give it some rest.
After you’ve successfully waited 24 hours without totally losing your mind and scraping the paint off every single wall in your home, grab that jar, walk to your nearest neighbors’ and beg them on your knees to please, please take this jar of crack away from you!
Before you walk out, seriously warm them that you may, under no circumstances, be held accountable for any addiction that may result from their eventual decision to consume the goods that you are leaving under their precious care.
You think I’m kidding? Absolutely not! I am seriously warning you: Be careful. This stuff is HIGHLY, EXTREMELY, BADLY ADDICTIVE.
Really, not once have I seen the bottom of a jar of nut butter quite as fast as I did with this one. This is definitely a nut butter that you want to consider as a treat. Have a teaspoon after a meal if you’re the kind who likes to end their meals with a little something sweet, or have a tablespoon with breakfast every once in a while.
DON’T, I REPEAT DON’T EVER SIT YOURSELF DOWN WITH JAR AND SPOON IN HAND. That would be the end of you, I swear.
I probably should come up with printable warning labels so you guys can print and apply them to your jars…
But really, you know what? I think you should forget you ever saw this recipe. Walk away from here and don’t ever make it.
Trust me, you’ll thank me for it.